Crop circles, and different issues aliens do not do

INTELLIGENT life might exist elsewhere within the universe. It could even have visited Earth. Nevertheless it positively didn’t do any of this bullshit: 

Anal probing

Aliens have found our planet. However as a substitute of constructing their presence identified, they abduct a few rural varieties to fiddle round with their arses. Why? What might encourage a space-travelling civilisation to offer a beef farmer from Tisbury a prostrate examination? Are they merely perverts?

Crop circles

Once more, we’re coping with a degree of expertise far past our comprehension. Whether or not wormholes or warping area, they’ve come 1000’s of sunshine years. They usually shit about in a discipline making fairly patterns then piss off? Until this spacefaring race is dominated by intergalactic crocheters, unlikely.

Cattle mutilation

Extraterrestrials are conducting experiments on Earth’s inhabitants. What sort of factor? Simply randomly mauling some livestock in precisely the identical means that, say, a wolf would possibly. It’s genius in a means; these reported incidents look a lot like an animal assault that rational folks would by no means suspect they had been carried out by Andromeda.

Construct the pyramids

Extra spectacular than the above, admittedly, however making contact with the Egyptians to offer them a hand with some pointy buildings? Anybody who buys this mainly believes aliens are little greater than intergalactic white van males. They usually in all probability f**ked off with the job half-finished, which is why they’re crap.

A kind of face on Mars in the event you squint

Those that declare aliens have visited our photo voltaic system level to the well-known photograph of Mars’s Cydonia area which reveals an enormous rocky face. Nice. If the one contact these aliens made was to create a GCSE artwork challenge that wouldn’t get a passing grade, it’s for the most effective they don’t make additional contact.